Hope and Other Superpowers by John Pavlovitz

Author:John Pavlovitz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

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TEN

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“TRUTH IS MY SHIELD.”

—DOCTOR STRANGE

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HONESTY

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I can still remember the first time I ever lied to my parents. I was about six years old. I can recall with perfect clarity the exact spot where I was standing in our Central New York town home when my shameful life of deception began. (Okay, so chances are I’d lied to them well before that, but this was the first time I’d had the self-awareness to realize it.) Strangely I don’t recall the actual topic at hand; I only remember my mother asking me a question, me replying—and then immediately sprinting outside and sobbing against a brick wall while a suffocating wave of guilt washed over me as if I’d just committed a homicide. I felt sick to my stomach for the rest of the day, lamenting the horrible thing I’d done, the trust I’d betrayed, and certain I was a hopelessly damned soul for the offense.

But something funny happened: I ended up lying again not long after that, and though an initial internal alarm still sounded, it wasn’t nearly as thunderous and didn’t reverberate for as long. My resulting queasiness, though still present, was far less severe than it had been the time before. And this pattern continued in the ensuing months: an untruth, followed by an ever-lessening sense of anxiety about it. Soon I began to realize two things: one—lying started not to bother me much at all, and two—I was good at it and rapidly improving! No, I didn’t suddenly turn to a life of crime, leveraging such burgeoning talents to engineer global domination, but I became aware (as we all do) of the skill of misleading someone and how effective it was in getting me what I wanted. It’s easy to leverage the ability to successfully twist reality and to look convincing while doing it; especially if you happen to be a naturally persuasive person, staying committed to truth-telling is imperative because you are uniquely capable of manipulating people and editing the truth. The first lie is always the most difficult to live with. Each time it gets easier.

I don’t know you, but I probably know something about you just the same: you fiercely value the truth, and you prize authenticity in those close to you more than almost anything. You surround yourself with people of unshakable integrity and weed out men and women who’ve proven prone to deception in the past—or at least I hope so. This is a promising sign that your sanity is relatively secure. There isn’t a rational person walking the planet who’d say that he or she wants dishonest people around or that they’re intentionally looking to align himself or herself or do business or build a family with con artists and liars.

I myself fiercely love truth-tellers, those who don’t conceal parts of their lives, beliefs, or motives from me. Whether in my friendships, my business partnerships, my family, my church, or my social network, I like

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